Thursday Twisted Links

Elf Satisfied: This Christmas, Deirdre’s
own, personal elf has a delicious
present waiting for her! 

This week's link might be more interesting than twisted. But it involves a part of our culture that I find fascinating this time of year. 

Santa.    Elves.   Reindeer

Aside from the obvious link with Christmas, why do you suppose these three characters have been linked together throughout history? I've always believed that they sprang from history fully-formed, woven together in a timeless story of love and giving and holiday fun. But this actually isn't true.

Santa Claus has been a part of US tradition since the early nineteenth century. Based on Saint Nicholas, the secret gift giver, we created him from a mix of  European Christmas traditions. In her unpublished story entitled Christmas Elves, Louisa Alcott gave us the first yule-time elves in 1850. The elves appear to have first joined Santa in his workshop in a Christmas issue of Godey's Magazine and Lady's Book, a United States magazine that was published in Philadelphia and had a circulation of over 70,000. Godey's popularized the idea of elves helping Santa prepare for Christmas with a front cover illustration of Santa in his workshop, surrounded by toys and elves. The picture apparently bore the caption, "Here we have an idea of the preparations that are made to supply the young folks with toys at Christmas time".

Much of popular fiction portrays Santa himself as an elf. In the poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Santa is described as a "jolly old elf". In the first half of the 19th century, Scandinavian culture tied Christmas presents to elves when they associated the elves with their Tomte, a small, humanoid race that protected children in their sleep.

But there might be one other connection there.  In the way of a child's drawing, where the father is pictured larger than life, the idea of a big, fat elf being the leader among a bunch of smaller elves in the business of Christmas makes sense. If you look at the origins of the Santa figure, Saint Nicholas the secret gift giver being the most well-known, the larger-than-life history might contribute to Santa being portrayed as a much larger elf. Or, it could boil down to something as simple as perception. Children perceive someone who is as important to them as Santa Claus to be much bigger than they are.

So we've made the link between Santa and the elves. Now what about the reindeer? That one's a little tougher. Clement C Moore's 1823 poem A Visit from St. Nicholas (also known as The Night Before Christmas or 'Twas the Night Before Christmas) has been credited for the idea of eight flying reindeer pulling Santa's sled. However, there is possibly another connection. Reindeer (or Caribou) live in the areas where the Santa Claus legend originated. They predominate in the snowy regions of the northern United States and in Scandinavia. In fact, the word “caribou” comes from a Native American word for “snow scraper”. So, in snowy environs, if Santa was looking for a creature to propel his flying sled, the reindeer would probably seem an obvious choice. And anyone who has seen a deer "fly" over a fence would understand the concept of flying reindeer.

So that links Santa and the elves and Santa and the Reindeer. What about the elves and the reindeer? To answer that I'll simply ask you this question: Who cares for Santa's flying reindeer? Well, the elves do of course.

Snap! Link closed.  #:0)

Whatever the origin of Santa Claus and his helpers, one thing is sure. He embodies our better natures and inspires us to embrace the kindness in our souls for at least part of every year. And for that alone I'm glad he's part of our culture.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Fun Christmas tidbit: In Sweden, prior to the influence of St. Nicholas, the job of giving out gifts was done by the Yule Goat.  Man, am I glad I'm not Swedish! I'm thinking it wasn't a lump of coal that naughty Swedish kids got in their stockings! If you know what I mean... LOL

Thursday Tidbit: Santa's Goin' Underground!

For the sake of the embattled Christmas holiday, and to save its celebrants unnecessary pain and stress, Santa has made an extremely difficult, well-thought-out decision. He's decided to do a lateral pass to a stand-in to take the heat off the holiday. With this goal in mind, he's walked into the sunset with his evil sidekick, the brightly clad Christmas tree, and left Christmas in the capable...erm...hands of his replacement.

The Christmas Chicken.

Put down those eye drops. Stop blinking and rubbing your eyes. You aren't seeing things. The Christmas Chicken, or CC as he's known by friends and fellow holiday professionals, has stepped in to carry the banner for the holiday that approximately 95% of Americans and 33% of the world celebrates. Santa has spent some time bringing him up to scratch...if you will...and believe me, CC is definitely ready to take on this challenge. Clad in green and red plaid knickers and an elf hat, CC offers celebrants a whole new perspective on the holiday. Rather than an enormous bag full of gifts in a sleigh, the Christmas Chicken will fly around the world under his own steam on Christmas eve, pulling gifts for happy children from the depths of a large nest made of sticks and magic dust.

In honor of our new Christmas hero, homes that previously harbored the evil Christmas Tree will soon highlight big, beautiful nests filled with bell "eggs" and an earthy array of burlap wrapped gifts. Plates filled with bananas and strawberries will replace the offerings of delicious, sugary, frosted cookies on the fireplace mantle. And letters to Santa that previously traveled to the North Pole will now be rerouted to CC's humble home in North Dakota, U.S.A.  There, in his long, low, production warehouse, CC's beaked and clawed "elves" will create and assemble millions of toys and gifts for the world's joyful celebrants.

In a recent interview with the North Pole Times, CC was asked how he thought the passage of the Christmas baton would affect the season. He responded exactly as many of us who celebrate this wonderful time of year would have responded.

"While a few among us strive to remove the symbols of the Christmas season, calling them "exclusive", "archaic", and "offensive" those of us who hold Christmas dear in our hearts understand that Christmas can never truly be eradicated. Though the symbols and tradition of this joyous time of year may come under attack and may even be altered in an attempt to save it, the real meaning of the season will never die. At the heart of Christmas is man's ideal of love and the joy inherent in giving and providing happiness. Love forms the core of the season...peace is its ultimate hope...and the seed of these admirable precedents is carried in each and every celebrants' heart. Though a few have tried to wrench that seed from our breasts, it only grows stronger with every effort."

Such a smart chicken. Such an invaluable nugget of truth. And I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say, that's one chicken nugget we can all enjoy!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Sam's Sunday Snippets

Continuing to highlight past Christmas free reads, Astra Gets a Lump of Coal for Christmas is from 2010. Enjoy!

In this short Christmas story, Astra is forced to spend Christmas in Satan’s backyard, helping the angels figure out how the green dragons are escaping Hell to terrorize the human realm on Earth. Astra is thrilled. I mean, there’s nothing like Hell at Christmastime. The lovely, scorched earth theme delights the visual pallet while the dulcet sound of terrified screaming serenades the lucky minions within Hell’s fiery grasp.

Astra’s body may be locked in Hell, but her thoughts are a few million miles north, where light and angelic music are the norm. And somewhere in the middle, where bright colors and happy thoughts rule the day.

So what does a kick ass demon hunter do when she finds herself holding a big, fat lump of coal on Christmas day? Why, she thumps an elf , of course!

“So…what’s an elf doing in Hell?”

He spared me a quick glance. “Are you kidding me? This is our biggest coal distribution area.”

I snorted. “Who’d you piss off to get Hades duty?”

“I’ve never been very good with politics,” he murmured.

“Yeah, me neither. What have you got there?”

He grinned at me. “The nice and naughty list.”

I frowned. This was a sensitive subject with me. “Am I on it?”

The elf pretended to peruse the list, his beady black eyes flashing with terminal hilarity. “Astra Q Phelps? Let’s see…oh yes, there you are…in the coal section.” He burst into good-natured laughter, his little shoulders rolling and bouncing with mirth. 

I frowned, not amused. “How’d you know my name, elf?”

He shrugged. “I was told you’d be coming.”

“Who told you I was coming?”

He just shrugged again and pretended to peruse the scroll.

I tried to read over his shoulder but he turned his back on me so I couldn’t see. “Why won’t you let me see the list?”

“Santa / recipient confidentiality.”

“But I’m a recipient. “

He ignored me and continued to read the scroll.

I lay down in the snow and, just for grins, made a snow Tweener. When I stood up to look at it, my Tweener had horns and a tail. I glared skyward. “Very funny.” Thunder rolled across the sky, sounding suspiciously like laughter.

Glynus lay down on her belly and flapped her wings, sending snow billowing over the elf and me. She grunted in pleasure as the snow cooled her enormous belly. I love snow, Mother Tweener.

Yeah, me too, Tadpole.

Glancing back toward the elf,  I  tried a different tactic. “Have you seen a lot of green dragons around here?”

The elf looked up, his dark, sparkling eyes narrowing on me with distrust. “Why do you ask?”

“That’s why I’m here. I’ve been tasked with stopping their escape into the human realm.”

His gaze, which had been harmless and bright a moment earlier, like a puppy’s, was suddenly dark and unfathomable, almost hostile.

I wasn’t aware elves did hostile.

“You do realize they’re being poisoned here, right?”

I opened my mouth to respond but he didn’t give me the chance.

“Their only hope is to get out of here. You would stop them and cause their deaths? You would really do that? No wonder you’re on the coal list.”

Sloughing off the un-elf-like dig, I ploughed onward, seeing a possible end to my stint in maximum security Hell. “You seem very informed and interested, elf. You wouldn’t by any chance be involved in helping them escape, would you?”

He pulled himself up to his full height of about four feet and not much and stuck his little pug nose into the air, puffing up his rosy cheeks. “If I was involved I wouldn’t tell you, coal girl.”

I felt a snarl building in my chest. Power tingled in my fingertips. I clenched my hands to stop myself from flinging a fireball at the vertically challenged rodent. “Look, elf. I don’t really care if you’re involved. I’m not gonna turn you in to the red guy or anything. I just want to stop the spill of greens into the human realm so I can get home and start enjoying the Holidays.”

The look on his face almost took my breath away. Through his beady little eyes I suddenly saw myself. I finally realized what I was saying, what I had been trying to do.

I was willing to sign death warrants for every green dragon in Hell so I could get back to my Champaign and cookies. I was a schmoe, a shmuck, a class A jerk. I dropped my butt onto the elf’s three legged stool and buried my face in my hands. “You’re right. I’m an ass. I do deserve a lump of coal.”

Are you all right, Mother Tweener. Do you want me to thump the elf for you?

I sighed. No, tadpole. I don’t want you to thump the elf.  I may want to do it myself. 

Download the rest of the story here!

Sam's Sunday Snippets

As Christmas fast approaches, and I busily work to complete this year's Christmas story, I thought it might be fun to highlight previous year's free Christmas reads. So this week's Sunday Snippet is from my 2011 Astra Q Phelps short, The Year the Grinch Stole Santa. Enjoy!

~~*~~

Astra is determined to take Christmas off, so she’s been ignoring the nearly constant calls from the North Pole to help them find Santa, who’s disappeared just days before Christmas.

But when a flash mob of elves show up and whisk her away to the North Pole, fresh from the shower and all nakies, what’s a Tweener to do?

Looks like Astra will be working again on Christmas after all.

                                               ~~*~~

Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men…Bleurgh!

In my world, nobody’s peaceful.

Nobody.

In Heaven, the Big Guy’s fighting to come to some kind of agreement with the Union of Guardian Angels and he’s worried about a major strike that will leave everybody on Earth unprotected. On Earth, violence has spiked and people are going crazy over taxes and a truly stinky economy, as well as a food shortage. And at the North Pole, there have been rumors of Elf unrest and Santa has gone missing.

It’s been all I could do to keep myself in the holiday spirit. With that goal in mind, I was currently ignoring multiple calls a day from the North Pole.

Ignoring? You ask in disbelief. Ignoring Santa!?

Yes. I’m ignoring Santa.

Or rather, his elves. The little buggers have been calling me every five minutes and I’ve been doing my best to avoid those calls. Why? you ask. because I’m sick and frunkin’ tired of having to work every Christmas.

Just for once I’d like to spend the week before Christmas shopping for gifts, attending holiday parties, and baking cookies like everybody else.

I saw that face.

You don’t think I can bake cookies do you? Huh?

Okay. You’re right. But I can frunkin’ eat ‘em can’t I?

Sigh. If I get the chance.

My televisual bleeped again and I grabbed the pillow next to me and covered my face with it. Cursing like a green Martian policeman, I climbed out of bed and headed for the personal hygiene room, intending to drown my sorrows in blissfully hot soapy water.

A few minutes later, I was soaking wet and happily soapy when the lights in the room flickered and I sensed movement. I squinted one eye open, cognizant of the soap running down my face, and started to pull my power forward.

Something light and shimmery landed on my head and my power froze on my fingertips. My eyes opened wide and I immediately regretted it as soap ran into them in a stinging stream.

“Frunk!” I lifted a hand and scraped it over my face and then glared down at my diminutive attackers, my eyes trying their best to close under the sting.

A familiar face glared back at me.

“Ralphy!”

He was dressed in green tights and a green tunic and wearing a red pointed hat, a wide red belt, and red shoes with curling toes.

As usual, he looked ridiculous.

Behind him ranged several more vertically challenged rodents wearing stupid outfits to match Ralphy’s. They all had ridiculously rosy cheeks too, but their expressions were less jolly.

In fact they mostly looked royally pissed.

Ralphy looked down his pug nose at me. It didn’t take him long since it was only about an inch long. “Astra Q Phelps. I came to tell you that, this year, you’re so naughty you don’t even rate coal. This year all you’re gonna get from the North Pole is hostility.”

~~*~~

Want more? You can download the entire story free!

Thursday Tidbits

Coming Soon!

DO THE HOLIDAYS INSPIRE YOU?

I’ll admit it, around this time of year I start feeling my imagination gearing up. There’s just something about cool weather, the smell of burning leaves, and the promise of the holiday season ahead that makes me want to delve into the realm of make-believe.

I think it’s magic.

I believe in magic, don’t you? That’s why I write paranormal/fantasy and why I love to immerse myself in fantastical stories and watch fantasy movies on the big screen. The magic in the real world may not include energy shooting from someone’s fingertips, or the cool scrape of vampire fangs along your throat, but it can be no less powerful.

Magic is potent because it isn’t mired in concrete ideas. It’s subjective and adaptable. You can find magic in the haunting call of an owl on a moonlit night, or feel it in your lover’s touch. It’s a hundred fireflies dancing on the air in your front yard, or a perfect note captured by a talented musician. Magic surrounds us. We can’t clasp it in our hands, but we can feel it, and there are certain times of year when it saturates the air around us. For me, the Holiday season is one of those times. So I tend to write more around this time of year, because I’m desperate to capture the magic in my heart, and share it with my friends.

It’s not an easy exercise. Magic can be an elusive creature. And I may not always succeed, but I always enjoy the effort.

Happy Holidays everybody! May your magic run deep this season. 

Sam's Annual Character Christmas Party - Challenge was the Theme

Well, this year’s party was a challenge. Astra was late getting back from the North Pole. Seems she and Dialle broke the sleigh when delivering toys to all the good little boys and girls, something about a pair of giant panties getting caught up in the gears (2011 Free Read: The Year the Grinch Stole Santa), and, in retaliation, Ralphy and Bob the horny elf locked her into the Reindeer stables for twelve hours.

Astra still smells like Reindeer poop, even though she insists she’s showered several times trying to get rid of the stench. So nobody wanted to stand next to her at the party. Plus she was pouting because the sexy Dialle was too busy prepping for the upcoming Dark Council meeting to attend the party (The Devil You Want). 

On the plus side, I got to spend some time with my new characters, Rissa and Jurden (Riding the Pulse). They were a pleasant couple, though Jurden kept holding up a vibrating finger and dancing his eyebrows at Rissa. At one point I caught them in the guest room under a pile of coats. The coats were vibrating and a buzzing noise filled the room. I threatened to throw water on them and short circuit their pulse if they didn’t turn the rating back down to 'G' and rejoin the party. 

I mean, there were young adults in the house. 

Speaking of Rosalee Tatiana (Queen of Environmental Club), she brought her dog, Mr. Elliott to the party. What a cute little doxie! He and Wally had fun chasing the barn cats around the hay bales all night. Rosalee is currently fighting off pressure to become the next Queen of the Fairy mound so she was a little twitchy all night, moody as only a seventeen year old can be. Thank heavens her partner in fairy crime fighting, Teague, was there. His ignorance of all things Earthly was a great source of entertainment for the love demons (Cupid only Rings Twice). They kept dialing 1-800-hotdate and handing him the phone. I’ve never seen a fairy turn that particular shade of purple before. Poor thing. 

But I confiscated the phone from the demons and hid it in the guest room (that’s how I discovered Rissa and Jurden Riding the Pulse amongst the coats!)

Nuria and Ian Lavelle stopped in for a few minutes (Guardian) but they weren’t there long. The Elves had heard about her weakness for ambrosia and they thought it would be funny to spike her punch with the stuff.

Shudder. 

Ian ended up carrying her out of the house over his shoulder. She was yelling “ver purty!” over and over again and squeezing his buns as she hung down his back. 

And speaking of buns…what party would be complete without its share of hot, hunky Honeybuns? All the brothers were there. Godric brought his new Honey, Dini to the party. She fits in well with the Honeybuns and the other Honeys. Godric showed everybody his scars from his reenactment weekend in a Southern Indiana woods (Honeybun in a Loin Cloth), and Dini used her special, magical cream to soothe the burns on one guest who’d gotten too close to the dragon games in the front yard. 

Amazing stuff. She should patent it. #:0) 

This year I got smart and set the dragons, gargoyles, and harpies up on the lawn, surrounded by guardian angels so they wouldn’t eat my neighbors (or their pets). The horses were hiding in the barn, under angelic guard as well. Other than one incident with the dragons burning crop circles in the hay fields around the house (you can’t imagine how much fun it was trying to explain to my neighbors that we weren’t being invaded by aliens…sigh) the party outside the house was fairly orderly…though loud. Once, when Glynus initiated a hearty rendition of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” several car alarms in the neighborhood went off and the police were called. I just barely managed to keep them from becoming harpie kibble and sent them on their merry way with the promise that the dragons would stop singing. 

Talk about a Bah Humbug.

Overall the party was a success, though everybody carried their own concerns into the fray, the season managed to work its enchantment on all of us. Being together, sharing love and…other emotions…and basking in the beauty of the season, I think we all gained a little from being together to celebrate the year’s most magical season. 

Except for my poor husband…who had the job of scooping poop out of the front yard the next day. I think he bent the shovel on his tractor with the last load of dragon poop. As soon as we get some snow we’ve planned a skiing vacation on the mountain of poop he created in the woods behind the house. 

What can I tell you…he’s the man behind the woman who creates more problems in her stories than she solves. 

It’s how I roll. LOL 

Merry Christmas, Everybody! 

My Thoughts about Christmas

Every year, about this time, I ponder what makes the season special. I suspect a lot of people do that, so I’m not unique. But my perspective on the season is unique. As is yours. I’m not one of those people who looks to the past a lot. But this time of year seems to be the exception. For me, Scrooge-like, the magic of the season is enhanced by Christmas past. I move through my day with one part of my brain tied to fond, seasonal memories. The way the tree looked, surrounded by all those pretty packages on Christmas morning when I was a kid; the memory of singing in the church choir at candlelight services when I got a little older, past gifts given and received that were special…for whatever reason.

It’s hard to pinpoint why I love Christmas so much. Despite the rush of added tasks and projects, the extra work involved in getting or making gifts, the pull of emotion the season engenders, I can’t help feeling its magic.

Maybe I like it so much because it brings out the best in me.

To me, Christmas is a conglomeration of things, past and present. As a creative person, I think my perception of this time of year has been formed by creative things. The following embody the spirit of this time of year for me.

Movie: Since family is important, Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation is a favorite for my family this time of year. The movie is silly and fun, absolutely, but at its core it is the perfect, farcical representation of what a lot of us experience during the holidays. We surround ourselves with family, sometimes a double edged sword, and try extra hard to create the perfect Christmas, a memory that we’ll clutch forever to our breasts as the years pass. It’s horrible to put that much pressure on ourselves, but we often do it none-the-less, and it’s usually every bit as painful as the movie portrays. My favorite line of the movie? Cousin Eddie saying,“shitter’s full”, as he empties the contents of his porta toilet directly into the sewer.” Snorf, what can I say, I’m simple!

Book: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is about fitting in, being accepted, and feeling needed. No time during the year is this more important than the holidays. People who don’t have loved ones are especially lonely this time of the year. More people die during this time of the year. It’s harder to be different, alone, ostracized this time of year. But no one really needs to be alone. This cute, inspiring movie shows us that, despite our differences, we can all find common ground, and everybody has a part to play in the grand scheme of life. It’s a heartwarming sentiment, and one I’ve treasured through the years.

Book: One of my favorite authors is Dr. Seuss. I love his books, his style. My favorite story of his is far and away How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Fun and well written, the story stands alone in my heart as one of the great classics, the embodiment of the anti-Christmas sentiment that makes those of us who love the season enjoy it all the more for its happy ending. No Grinch could withstand the sweet, sad face of Cindy Lou, or all that she represents. Only the most cynical among us truly believe that Christmas is about things. Buying things, giving things, receiving things. If you were to take away the things, the spirit would still shine bright.

That’s what makes Christmas my favorite time of year. That’s the magic of it. That’s the joy.

I hope you manage to wrap your arms around your ideal Christmas this year. But if you don’t it doesn’t really matter. If you offer love and acceptance, surrounding yourself with friends and family, you’ve already reached your Christmas dream!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Traditions - Old and New

I love this time of year for what it represents. Love, hope, and charity. One of the things I love most about the holidays are the traditions...all of the big and little things we do as a family to celebrate the season.

We’ve always celebrated Christmas just like millions of other families. Great food, enforced family togetherness #:0), and lots of brightly wrapped packages under the tree. But as my girls get older, and the economic state of the country becomes more challenging, we have naturally re-examined our traditions and considered ways to improve on them. Rather than buy each other the obligatory gift each year, my extended family has looked into options such as giving to toy and food drives and have taken great pleasure from helping others. This type of giving is still a priority in my family, but last year we started a new tradition which was meant to take us back to the things that are most important to us, especially in these tougher times. We returned to family.

Everyone came to our little farm for a weekend sleepover. Our goal was just to be together, eat a lot of great food, and share the season in as simple a way as possible. For our gift exchange, each family member was charged with making a simple gift that could be used and loved for years of Christmases to come. Because the gifts were hand made they meant so much more, and it was fun to see what the less ‘creative’ among us came up with! #:0)

Fortunately we had snow so the kids got to be pulled around on sleds behind our utility vehicle. We had a fun scavenger hunt, and took the 15 family dogs for long walks. The weather was mild, the snow was beautiful, and the company was wonderful. Most importantly, for me at least, the weekend reinforced the importance of the season. It should be a time of laughter, of love, of assessing priorities, and of great promise for the coming years together.

Whatever your family’s traditions, may they be wonderful and long lived...and may you and yours continue to enjoy good health and happiness for many, many years to come!

Do you have a family tradition you'd like to share? Leave a comment with your email addy and I'll send you a copy of my new Christmas free read, Astra Gets a Lump of Coal for Christmas!

Thanks for stopping by!