Thursday Tidbits - Join My Kitchen Team?

For today's tidbit, I'm putting out a call for anybody who wants to be a member of my kitchen team. What? You've never heard that term before? Oh yeah. It's been around...oh I don't know...ten minutes or so, at least.

A street team just seems like too much work, so I thought maybe I'd start small and just do a team that would fit into a single room. And since the kitchen is my favorite room in the house it seemed the logical place.

Anybody interested? #:0)

Still need convincing? Okay, how about this...we'll be close to the refrigerator...and the coffee maker. Besides, it's so cold out on the street right now. If you joined my kitchen team you could stay warm and toasty while we drank coffee and ate the cookies your visit would give me the excuse to bake.

This idea is really growing on me.

So we'd need rules right? Okay, here are the rules for my kitchen team:

1. No hogging the cookies. (You can see where my priorities are.)
2. No more than three cups of coffee per member (We don't want you pinging off the walls, I mean, you're not out on the street!)
3. If you're on another author's street team you must sign a confidentiality agreement promising not to tell  the other author about my cozy kitchen team idea. He/she'll want to steal it. I mean, who wouldn't?
4. Pertaining to Rule 3 above, you totally need to dish  inside info on that other author. (Come on, we writers live isolated lives and we need gossip like a fat kid needs cake.) 
5. You must sign a pact to take my promo goodies to other kitchens and share. (And bring goodies from those kitchens back to me of course. #:0)

Is that enough rules? I don't really like rules so I'm making that enough. So what do you get out of this, you ask? You mean aside from my sparkling company and lots of refreshments? #:0(

Okay, you drive a hard bargain. I have a huge closet in my office filled with swag and stuff. I've got your attention now haven't I? I also have a couple of shelves filled with new, unread books. Oh yeah, the hook is fixed and I'm reelin' ya in. 

What's the catch, you ask?

Blink.

Blink.

You...you have to like me. 

Wait...don't leave. Come back. Okay, you don't have to like me...you can just tolerate me. Wait...shit! Okay, you don't have to even tolerate me. I'll just give you stuff. 

Okay. Phew. Sign here.

I'm so pathetic. Sniffle. #:0)