Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ask Dr. Sam

Question: Well I have a problem! I'm in central time so I am still at work while you sit
back with your drink and lorna doons! I am having to play hookie so that I can
visit a certain chat group so I can try to keep ahead in contests points. What
do you suggest I tell my "boss"? or the other employee who might become annoyed
that I am involved in an online chat?

Dr. Sam's Response:
Well, Dr. Sam will ignore the jealousy my little snack has obviously caused in poor Martha, who is stuck in her day job while the rest of us dance and play and eat cookies. I can certainly understand Martha's jealousy, and I would share it if I were not one of the lucky ones dancing around with my Lorna Doones, however, my kind understanding does not help Martha with her dilemma. So, Martha, here is what I would suggest.

Turn to your office pal, and, if it is a woman, gasp loudly, slap a hand over your mouth, and widen your eyes in horror. When she asks what's wrong just shake your head and quiver, refusing to catch her eye until she leaps up from her desk and runs into the bathroom to see what's wrong with her face, her hair, or her person that so horrified you. While she's gone you can happily chat away without notice.

If your nosy, spoil sport co-worker is a man, just unbutton your blouse and lift your skirt a little and he won't even notice what you're doing with your hands. Come on, Martha I know you can do it...work it girl!

Now the boss, that's a little tougher, but Dr. Sam is up to the challenge. Here's what I'd do. I'd go into his/her office and inform him/her that your co-worker has been acting very strangely and you're afraid something terrible is going on in his/her life and you really hope there aren't any drugs or... heaven forbid... guns involved. And then smile, give a little finger wave, and go back to your desk.

You can probably gain an hour of unobserved hilarity and irresponsible fun while the boss and the co-worker hash things out in the boss's office, the security guards frisks the co-worker and searches his/her car, and the company shrink is called in to deal with the problem .

Problem solved.

Dr. Sam
Psychological Prognosticator Extraordinaire

1 comment:

MarthaE said...

I still end up ROFLOL with this answer! It was so priceless! Thanks for the good "cough, cough" advise Dr. Sam!