~~*~~
Astra is determined to take Christmas off, so she’s been ignoring the nearly constant calls from the North Pole to help them find Santa, who’s disappeared just days before Christmas.
But when a flash mob of elves show up and whisk her away to
the North Pole, fresh from the shower and all nakies, what’s a Tweener to do?
Looks like Astra will be working again on Christmas after
all.
~~*~~
Peace on Earth and
Goodwill toward Men…Bleurgh!
In my world, nobody’s
peaceful.
Nobody.
In Heaven, the Big Guy’s fighting to come to some kind of
agreement with the Union of Guardian Angels and he’s worried about a major
strike that will leave everybody on Earth unprotected. On Earth, violence has
spiked and people are going crazy over taxes and a truly stinky economy, as
well as a food shortage. And at the North Pole, there have been rumors of Elf
unrest and Santa has gone missing.
It’s been all I could do to keep myself in the holiday
spirit. With that goal in mind, I was currently ignoring multiple calls a day
from the North Pole.
Ignoring? You ask
in disbelief. Ignoring Santa!?
Yes. I’m ignoring Santa.
Or rather, his elves. The little buggers have been calling
me every five minutes and I’ve been doing my best to avoid those calls. Why? you ask. because I’m sick and
frunkin’ tired of having to work every Christmas.
Just for once I’d like to spend the week before Christmas
shopping for gifts, attending holiday parties, and baking cookies like
everybody else.
I saw that face.
You don’t think I can bake cookies do you? Huh?
Okay. You’re right. But I can frunkin’ eat ‘em can’t I?
Sigh. If I get the chance.
My televisual bleeped again and I grabbed the pillow next to
me and covered my face with it. Cursing like a green Martian policeman, I climbed
out of bed and headed for the personal hygiene room, intending to drown my
sorrows in blissfully hot soapy water.
A few minutes later, I was soaking wet and happily soapy
when the lights in the room flickered and I sensed movement. I squinted one eye
open, cognizant of the soap running down my face, and started to pull my power
forward.
Something light and shimmery landed on my head and my power
froze on my fingertips. My eyes opened wide and I immediately regretted it as
soap ran into them in a stinging stream.
“Frunk!” I lifted a hand and scraped it over my face and
then glared down at my diminutive attackers, my eyes trying their best to close
under the sting.
A familiar face glared back at me.
“Ralphy!”
He was dressed in green tights and a green tunic and wearing
a red pointed hat, a wide red belt, and red shoes with curling toes.
As usual, he looked ridiculous.
Behind him ranged several more vertically challenged rodents
wearing stupid outfits to match Ralphy’s. They all had ridiculously rosy cheeks
too, but their expressions were less jolly.
In fact they mostly looked royally pissed.
Ralphy looked down his pug nose at me. It didn’t take him
long since it was only about an inch long. “Astra Q Phelps. I came to tell you
that, this year, you’re so naughty you don’t even rate coal. This year all
you’re gonna get from the North Pole is hostility.”
~~*~~
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